Ask for panties if you're a man!
This is called an American Dog!
Japanese English can be a bit funny as illustrated by the examples above. English in China wins the top prize for weirder English however.
On the whole, most Japanese I came across could understand English although they cannot speak it fluently. It seems their understanding of written English is much better than their spoken English. I had no problem making myself understood. I find the Japanese more competent than the Thais and Chinese.